Blonde Bestie: “The Law on Your Side”
“To the modern politician and planner, men are the flies of a summer, oblivious of their past, reckless of their future.”–Russell Kirk, Ancestral Shadows:
An Anthology of Ghostly Tales, ca. 2004
“We should support whatever our enemies oppose and oppose whatever our enemies support.”-Chairman Mao, The Little Red Book, ca. 1964
The more Hamiltonian Federalist, the more Prussian or the more Bolshevist Your school life with the student body becomes, the more well-off Your nation will be. Your secondary school experiences are proportionate to whether you actually learned anything meaningful with your life. Before you complete your secondary school education, every student in the SSE will retake their Interpersonal Compact to determine whether anything was learned or not . Even if you are evading the Draft at the University, the State is still going to mail Your Draft Card under the mandatory Three-Year Conscription Policy with three or four different ways of serving it legally (and not go to prison):
- With the Vocational Civil Services of the Workforces
- With the Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Armed Forces
- With the Youth Cooperatives of the Military-Industrial Complex
- With Your Student Government’s SSE
Your Socialist Student Economy is imbued with that Spirit of Cooperative Competition, that sort of Competition compelling everyone to realize untapped potential and nurture latent talents. It can be as fun and entertaining as, well, having cameo appearances on television, movies, and video games as ways of living out your personal life.
You may even make some online friends or offline friends from other SSEs. Your Soviet playmate may invite you out to a Soviet Maid Cafeteria (if you are a real man) or a Soviet Butler Cafeteria (if you are a real woman). They may even speak on behalf of your own SSE at the next Kremlin State Palace Meeting with the SSESU (Socialist Student Economy of the Soviet Union), allowing your SSE and the SSESU to negotiate a Real Trade Agreement (RTA).
Under the terms of that RTA, Your SSE would sell them household appliances, sports cars, precision tools, chewing gum and chewing tobacco at the Soviet student body’s Beriozka Shops (a Soviet Luxury Chain) in Leningrad, Moscow and Stalingrad. In exchange, the Soviet student body (the Pioneers and Komsomol) may sell some usual delicacies like caviar, chocolate, and ice cream at your SSE’s Specialty Shops and Department Stores at one of its Shopping Citadels.
The Soviet SSE may consider selling ‘Oswald Spengler’s Decline of the West Fragrance Perfume’, which was apparently a luxury among Soviet teenage girls and college girls on this side of the 20th century. Any rereleases ought to include Spengler’s silhouette and a label on the back that reads:
“Man makes history; woman is history. The reproduction of the species is feminine: it runs steadily and quietly through all species, animal or human, through all short-lived cultures. It is primary, unchanging, everlasting, maternal, plantlike, and cultureless. If we look back we find that it is synonymous with Life itself.”-Oswald Spengler, Aphorisms, ca. 1967
Some busts of Vladimir Lenin and paintings depicting Nietzsche, Lenin, Spengler and Arthur Moeller van den Bruck engaging in an intellectually wholesome and family-friendly conversation about the Faustian ‘World Riddle = World Revolution’.
“The World Revolution, however, will not be that which [Karl] Marx [had] envisaged; it will rather be [the one that which Friedrich] Nietzsche foresaw.”-Arthur Moeller van den Bruck, Das Dritte Reich, ca. 1923
Or they could just help Your Student Government find ways to serve the Draft with an array of nifty ‘Red Army Toys’:
Soviet Spetsnaz-grade MAFVs, Nagant revolvers with detachable silencers, PKM heavy machine guns, PPSH41s sporting drum magazines, and different variations of the Kalashnikov.
Invitations to WSO-affiliated youth competitions involving Soviet BTRs, BMPs, Mi-24 gunships and Tupolev Tu-160s.
Smartphone-capable MP-155 Ultima Smart Shotgun with Built-In Computer and Video Camera.
And those propaganda posters featuring pretty boys and pinup girls!
“[Professor] Frank [had once] recalled my idle remark some years ago: ‘Never pass up the opportunity to have sex or appear on television.’ Advice I would never give today in the Age of AIDS and its television equivalent Fox News.”-Gore Vidal, Point to Point Navigation, ca. 2006
Alternatively, it can also be as fun and entertaining as playing Chess–or better yet, shooting billiards at a Soviet pool hall with those Eastern Bloc Comrades that you met on the Internet. They may be able to return the favor later. It always pays to be on the side of the law because crime does not pay; if you cannot do the time, do not do the crime and if you have nothing to fear from the Student Government, you have nothing to hide from your Student Government.
Of course, I am not talking about the usual Western Bloc billiards that would bore an Ego like John Edgar Hoover and its Alter Ego, Mary Edgar Hoover. I’m talking about the Soviet kind. It’s a really sad sight if the Student Intelligence Corps discovers why you enjoy ‘playing-with-yourself’ as your Alter Ego or why you are fapping over FBI XXX-Files without a search warrant from a federal judge, some undercover playmates, and vans full of heavily-armed SWAT members from the FBI Joint Terrorism Task Forces (JTTF) Unit.
Also, it’s an even sadder tale for the Student Government to also learn that you were ‘getting freaky’ on the side with Josef Goebbels and never bothering to bring back a Pee-Pee Tape. I mean, when Goebbels lies to his wife and kids about ‘getting-it-on’ or having a Golden Shower with Prussian prostitutes, it is only customary for said Prussian prostitutes to secretly make X-rated flicks on the side and then sell them off to Blonde Bestie’s FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover (FBI), FSB Director Vladimir Putin (KGB/FSB), or even Reinhard Heydrich (SS-RSHA/Gestapo).
With that kind of Kompromat, nobody in 1933 is going to trust anything coming of Goebbels’ Deepthroat, especially when he said:
“[Adolf Hitler] has announced to the whole world, through the mouth of [Germany], […] that [he] has no aggressive intentions whatever, that [he] does not wish to provoke anyone nor to stir up unrest. It wishes to pursue its work in peace and in a spirit of deep moral conviction, in order to make sure of its daily bread. It stands unarmed before the world, and has no other means of proving the genuineness of its intentions but its industry and assiduity. It is firmly convinced that the world cannot regard its claims with indifference. […] The world is still suspicious; with the exception of a few men who have had the courage to look the facts in the face, the world has no understanding what[so]ever, or at best a very poor one [.]”-Josef Goebbels, ‘The New Germany
Desires Work and Peace’, ca. 1933